Love & Mistakes: A Date To Forget

Online dating is an act I have always subscribed to even though its like a good platform for just fun alone. The best you mostly get out of an online date is just a couple of exciting moments that end as fast as it happened. I always tell myself I will never flirt online but circumstances have a way of pushing me into it.It happens to everyone mostly like this; after sitting behind a computer screen working for several hours, you will be prompted to check out one beautiful girl on your Facebook page, Blackberry Messenger list or Whatsapp for a heart-cooling chat. You may not have any major intentions at first but as the chat gets intensive, you could be tempted to spice it up with a feeling of romance.

Several guys love to deceive themselves by keeping several females around them as friends. Doing that is like indirectly abusing the word ''friendship''. Its almost impossible to be friends with a lady you share nothing in common with. At least, there should a dominant connection that will keep both of you going. This may range from work connections, school, church or locational ties etc. Once all these are absent, then you are suppressing a feeling that should be expressed, something like a mild self-torture. Mere friendship with the opposite sex is like nurturing a chicken from its chick growth stage to full maturity. Your act of feeding the chicken doesn't mean you love the chicken. You are only feeding it for a purpose which is to kill it for a delicacy on a set day.
Guys love to nurse fake friendships with females, but if you want to confirm their suppressed intentions, ask them for sex and see if the animal in them wouldn't be unleashed. Well, enough of my deviation. My major motivation of writing is to share one awful date experience I had with an online date.

I was just on the BlackBerry Messenger, BBM one night after a hard day at work trying to get my anticipated night rest. As I fiddled with my phone, I saw a post being made on one of the BBM channels I subscribed to stating that guys and ladies ready to mingle should send their details and a picture to an email address. I couldn't resist the temptation and since it wouldn't cost a thing I sent the requirements to the email. The following day my phone was almost switched off throughout due to power issues paramount in my country. When I finally charged it, I got over 30 pin requests on my BBM. At first I was so scared, I thought I was holding the wrong phone. In a few minutes, I remembered the application I made to the BBM channel. I noticed more of guys added me with a few ladies. That was strange to me. Getting attention from guys is not new to me anyway but I have emphatically stated severally that I am 'straighter' than a ruler. For business purposes I added them all but later deleted almost all the contacts leaving about two ladies behind. I couldn't stand seeing guys ask me out and strange ladies on my BBM list.
Out of the two ladies, I had a soft spot for one who was quite cute in pictures. She was well endowed and spoke good English. My heart melted when I heard she was from Edo state just like me. Since I dated an Edo lady during my NYSC days in 2011, I felt like dating another one because of the level of sincerity my ex had.

 My mom wants me to marry an Edo lady but she isn't strongly bent on that. She talked nice and in no time we became cool friends. We both claimed to have empty love lives. I was sincere but I had a feeling she wasn't. I always find it hard to trust people a times. One thing led to another and the atmosphere became romantic. My only concern was the fact that her pictures were all doctored with picture editing applications on Android phones. This is only common among ladies that have trust issues with their beauty.  Majority of her pictures were head-shots showing she was hiding something.

One point of attraction was that she was so open-minded. We discussed secret issues like we have known each other for years. She was so lively and excited about me. She was eager to see me. It gave me a feeling of being attractive and handsome. I had issues seeing her because I was broke. My former boss actually delayed the payment of my salary. I had an idea of meeting her in grand style for the purpose of creating a first impression that will last long. She kept pestering me over time.

In no time I started feeling guilty and embarrassed. In the middle of the one night, I woke up to get a message from her in capital letters expressing the harsh tone of the text. She desperately wanted us to meet. I was pushed to the wall. I had to fix an appointment with her with less than a thousand Naira ,N1,000, on me.  I felt so uncomfortable with that but I wanted to fulfill her wish.

It was a Saturday,I had to sign off work earlier than scheduled after calling her. I got on a bike heading home to prepare for her coming. Surprisingly, she called to tell me she was at the junction of my house when I was still afar off. It was sunny, I sensed the discomfort she would have been subjected to. Immediately I got home, I told my mom I was expecting a female guest. She just smiled, I was amazed because she doesn't support me coming home with ladies.

A bit of surprise awaited me. I saw her across the road looking like she was older than me. She was quite brief in height, with very fat legs. She wasn't really what I was anticipating to see from the pictures. Her hair was untidy and my dressing was quite below par. The disappointment got me looking up to her heart as a compensation for the physical pitfalls. As I walked with her to my house, neighbours praised me with sign languages considering the massive backside she had. I quietly engaged her in a short gist as I took her to my ghetto house. She looked at the old building with imploring eyes. She started becoming obviously uncomfortable. I wonder why most ladies always have high hopes when they see my pictures on the internet. She entered the sitting room of my house with the same strange look. She rejected all my offers on refreshments. She finally decided to take just water. I knew I was failing. I engaged her with some gist about myself just to cover up for my flops. I ended up saying too personal things. Deep inside of me, I had the feeling that I was making her day. I never knew I was boring her. My friends have always warned me against engaging ladies in long gist. She later interrupted me. She went down memory lane, accusing me showing pride in dealing which her which I refuted. She boldly said I talk TOO MUCH. She emphasized on the length of my speech. She started schooling me on how to chat with a lady. I bitterly played the role of a calm student as I licked my fresh wounds. I was obviously embarrassed but kept my cool. As tension subsided, I tried spicing up the mood with a kiss. We had discussions that surpassed that level of romance online. She resisted immediately and left me with a mild warning. I made no further attempts.

In no time, the bold and lively me became cold. She gathered so much confidence and started blabbing. I pretended everything was fine with the slim hope of reviving my flow. My breaking point was reached when she started yawning incessantly and staring at the wall clock in my sitting room. I didn't hide my feelings. I asked her if she wanted to go. She sharply said yes. I am sure she was expecting me to plead with her to stay, I wore a pair of slippers and saw her off to the junction of the road. We never exchanged a single word. I sorted her transport fare and waved to her as she zoomed off.

From that point, things became dry and dead between us. She accused me of boring her with my long talks. She accused me of betraying the values I write about and many other obnoxious accusations.

I shared the whole saga with my friends. They all gave conflicting accounts of the source of the problem. One of my friends said I would have grabbed her instead of the long talks, he said she wanted sex indirectly. That would have been so stupid of me. I am too civil and cultured for such a move.

Additionally, my mom disliked her by appearance and she didn't even consider a change of mind when I told her she is from Edo state. She was like; ''I wonder why you and your sister don't have a good taste of lovers. The disparity between both of you is too obvious'' I was shocked.
I expected all old people to look at the heart and not the physical attributes like we young folks but my mom just did that.

I still ponder over what went wrong till date but I am over it. I am not good at fighting for a lady's heart. It is a bad part of me I wish I could change.
I will welcome comments on what I did wrong.

 Could it be my fault or hers? Any advice against a future occurrence of the event?

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About Osahon

I'm a journalist and a Political Scientist undergoing a doctoral programme focused on media, democracy and governance in Africa. My mission is to uphold the role of the media as the 'fourth estate of the realm' and also tell the Nigerian Story to the world. You can contact me on Phone number: +2347053302356.
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