Loneliness transcends being left alone in a place; it’s more psychological than physical. I am putting this up because it is a problem I have battled with for a while. I thought I was the only one in that web until I later discovered how rampant the issue is. So I made up my mind to share my story to help people get through that psychological imprisonment. Loneliness is deeper than the literal appearance of the word. Loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional response to isolation or lack of companionship.

Loneliness typically includes anxious feelings about a lack of connectedness or communality with other beings, both in the present and extending into the future. As such, loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people. The causes of loneliness are varied and include social, mental or emotional factors.

This world may seem so crowded but in the real sense it is a very cold and lonely place. There will be a point in life where you will realize that no one really cares about you apart from your family. That is the more reason why we should keep our parents close to our hearts. The undiluted, unconditional agape love comes from them. Have you ever faced a problem that refused to go away? Have you ever set a goal for yourself, like getting fit, making honour roll, or being picked for a team? Like lots of people, maybe you started out doing great, but then lost some of that drive and had trouble getting motivated again. Have you ever prayed so hard without any answers? Have you ever been heartbroken by someone you built your world around? Or probably you lost someone indispensable to the cold hands of death? Maybe probably you strongly desire someone you could share your pains with to get an assurance of hope? And lastly, have you ever pondered on what your future will look like in consideration of the uncertain realities of the present? These are just some of the various problems people pass through day in day out.

Research has revealed that introverts fall victims of loneliness. They feel a particular problem is peculiar to them alone due to their inability to share their predicaments with surrounding people. By virtue of my strong job search in the past, I was exposed to the generality of problems among youths and some adults. While staying in my house I felt I was the only jobless person in the world. I started developing the feeling that life hated and degraded me. It was a personal conviction I had deep inside of me that I couldn’t share with people for fear of being misunderstood or given false hope. But my views changed when I met some adults at recruitment venues. It is advisable to listen to them and benefit from their wealth of experience which is invaluable. Then I realized I wasn’t alone in the web. I once met an adult who explained to him how he got married and sustained his family in an expensive place like Lagos with just a monthly salary of N10, 000. When I was told, my body turned cold. It was like a fairy tale or probably a fable to me. That is the same amount some youths quietly take to club houses today because it is outrightly insufficient. This person in question fought this situation and today he is well established with a good house, 2 lovely kids and a car to rock life. What about the story of my friend’s brother who was searching for job for years. There was no hope whatsoever for him. He kept believing in God. He never lost hope in God for a minute. One day he was traveling to Abuja in a commercial vehicle, he got engaged in a discussion with an unknown man. He told the man about his admiration of the men of the Directorate of State Security (DSS). The man probed his desire to join the DSS, my friend’s brother unconsciously expressed his mind freely without knowing he was talking to one of their agents. The man appreciated his passion for the job and processed his employment with the influence he had and on a platter of gold. This young man got the job. He is well established in life today. The shackles of unemployment and poverty were taken from him in a direction he least expected.

Most times a lot of people falsely raise your hopes with promises of help. It’s funny how some people enjoy listening to the cry and gnashing of teeth of others. Probably it makes them appreciate God the more. This agrees with the saying that if you look at those in front of you and feel God hasn’t been faithful to you; then probably you should look at those behind you to determine the magnitude of your progress in life. If you are a job applicant who has submitted CVs to some reputable people and organizations only to find a nearby Suya man using one of them to sell his product to you. I want to make you realize that there is hope for you. You are not alone. If it is true as claimed by Fani Kayode, who is the official spokesman of president Goodluck Jonathan, that Governor Rotimi Amaechi of Rivers state used to wear a shirt for three days due to lack of an option, then you are not alone. What about our president, the number one citizen of the Federal Republic of Nigeria schooling without shoes those days. I am sure he never knew his future will be this bright. Even the bible says we should never despise little beginning (Zechariah 4: 10).

What about the ladies that don’t feel loved? Every man you meet seems to be interested in your body and not your heart. You give your all to him and receive rejection in return. As it happens continuously, you begin to feel you are under a spell. I am telling you authoritatively that you are not under a spell. You are just being schooled about life and your graduation unto greatness is close. Maybe I should tell you about someone I know closely. In the quest for love she started taking risks, she gambled with her love life. She loved carelessly and selflessly but in turn she got abject disappointment. Life became harder for her. In her quest to find love she degraded her taste to the level of men that couldn’t even boast of decent roofs over their heads but still love never came. In the process, she lost her mother who was her everything. It was as if her entire world was coming down. She contemplated suicide severally but she never yielded to the feeling engineered by depression. On a fateful day, she met this established computer scientist in Lagos that fell in love with her. Her story changed, she was blessed with more than enough that she had to extend helping hands to her siblings. She is happily married with two kids today with a great job. Her new hobby is touring countries. You should know the kind of people that engage in such.

Commonly, in our judgments of our lives, we get enslaved to the pressure we get from foul-mouthed friends, family members or the society in general. Some of us have one or two friends who display a high sense of immaturity by claiming to be blunt. One or two opportunities they have cause them to take up the unpaid positions of life-coaches over your life. They see life on a straight line. They plan how far you can go in the nearest future but if you are facing this, I want you to cheer up because they are not your creator. He owns the key to your life. God is ever faithful. Jeremiah 29:11 says (King James Bible)

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

No man can predict the ways of God or determine another man’s destiny. Life is too complicated for that. In social science today which studies human behaviour, you can hardly find a definite answer to human life. There are no facts but arguments which are mostly accepted tentatively.

As the spirit leads, I will share my personal experience and close up the article to prevent boring my readers. I have a friend who got a comfortable job; he got heavily drunk of his achievement and started intimidating me. One day he came visiting, out of respect and love for a friend I went to the kitchen to prepare something for us. He laid on the couch and said

”Boss you actually finished school in the year 2010, its 2014 now, making it 4 good years and you seem to have no concrete job experience. At a job interview, an employer will like to know where you have been in the last four years.”

I replied ”I will tell the interviewer I was back in school for my masters degree”
He paused a bit and said “that’s not an adequate answer; they will need a better response”

At that point I felt so down-casted but I hid my feelings. It’s wrong to expose your weakness to an opponent a times especially when it’s obvious that an enemy in the image of a friend is trying to hurt you. There is an element of truth in what he said anyway but a true friend will make a hopeless situation appear hopeful. I felt one sense of loneliness in me that fateful day and my entire week was ruined. But when I came across this bible passage Isaiah 55:9, I regained strength. I told myself, ”I am not alone, God is with me” It reads: “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

I held unto that word, months later I got a job that has served as a template that I built on. It will shock you that I was employed on the basis of what I promised I could do rather than what I have on paper. My employer even misplaced my CV and the issue of experience never came up. As if that was not enough, I have been singled out for several commendations and I attribute all these to the grace of God. What am I trying to drive out? God is in heaven feeling your pains and they have an expiry date. We serve a God of principles and soonest all your efforts would yield a bountiful harvest. It is part of the laws of life. Take a clue from a plane taking off from the airport. It elevates from a lower position/region and gradually to the highest point in the sky. Even when it reaches the highest point for a safe flight, at first it struggles to balance which may scare a first timer but when it gains position, the flight becomes smooth.

I wish I could touch other areas with the series of testimonies I have to make reference to. On a normal day I would have loved to write on a political article or something relating to entertainment but this write-up was heavy in my spirit and I feel a huge burden being taken off me as I have written this down. So if you have stumbled upon this by mistake, your study of it is already ordained by God. It’s not a mistake in the actual sense. I don’t know who you are or what you are going through. Your situation may seem worse than the ones I have mentioned but I want you to know that God is there with you. He sent his son Jesus Christ to join Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the burning fiery furnace to join them as the fourth man after being cast into the fire by King Nebuchadnezzar. You are not alone, God is there with you and He shall surely see you through.

Osayimwen Osahon George
Online Editor

Jetheights Services Limited

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About Osahon

I'm a journalist and a Political Scientist undergoing a doctoral programme focused on media, democracy and governance in Africa. My mission is to uphold the role of the media as the 'fourth estate of the realm' and also tell the Nigerian Story to the world. You can contact me on Phone number: +2347053302356.
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